Seth Meyers found plenty of reason to mock Rudy Giuliani and other Trump staffers in Tuesday’s January 6 committee hearingthe third public session Thus far. The committee heard Tuesday from Rusty Bowers, Republican speaker of the Arizona House, who testedified that Giuliani and Trump lawyer Jenna Ellis claimed they “forgot” evidence of voter fraud when meeting with him to convince Bowers to overturn the election.
According to Bowers, Ellis said, “no, it’s not with me but we can get it to you.”
“This is just me, but if I was preparing for a high-stakes meeting with a prominent Republican official to convince them to overturn their state’s election results, reversing the will of 80 million people and potentially provoking a constitutional crisis – I think I, and this is just me, I think I would remember to bring the evidence,” the Late Night host said.
“They actually thought they could get away with saying they had the proof and just never having it with them,” he continued. “These people are such bad scam artists. It’s actually remarkable how close they came to overthrowing American democracy. In fact, even calling them scam artists is overstating the case. That’s like calling this guy” – a Subway employee – “a sandwich artist. At best, you’re a sandwich attempter.
“So these dipshits thought they could get away with convincing the Arizona state house speaker to overturn his state’s election results by just pretending they had proof and would definitely send it to him when they got around to it,” he concluded.
“They treated a prominent Republican official asking for proof of election fraud the same way I treated my dentist’s nephew when he asked for notes on his screenplay.”
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert recapped a series of damning text messages between the chief of staff to Ron Johnson, a Republican senator from Wisconsin, and an aid to Mike Pence. Johnson’s staff tried to get an alternate slate of fake electors from Michigan and Wisconsin to Pence; the vice-president’s aid unambiguously told Johnson’s chief of staff not to deliver it. “I’d say that’s a smoking gun, but Republicans would consider that a compliment,” Colbert fitted.
Johnson has since tried to distance himself from the plot, saying in a statement that he was “aware” that his office received a package but had “no idea” who delivered it, yet confirmed that his office “attempted to facilitate” delivery of the package.
“So he has no idea where it came from, no idea who gave it to them, no idea what it is, but he can’t wait to hand-deliver it to the second in command,” Colbert mocked. “There could’ve been anything in that envelope! He doesn’t care – fake electors, angry bees, naked pictures of Mary Todd Lincoln. It don’t matter to Ron, he’s just a delivery boy.
“Now, most historians agree: Ron Johnson is the dumbest person ever to sit in the United States Senate,” Colbert continued. “But even by that scale, this is still shocking. You know those announcements at the airport when they say ‘do not carry on to the flight a package for someone you don’t know’. I’ve always wondered who those announcements are for. Turns out it’s Ron Johnson.”
And on the Daily Show, Trevor Noah noted that after years of demoralizing gridlock, Congress is set to pass gun control legislation with some bipartisan support. The deal includes enhanced background checks for people between the ages of 18 and 21, bars romantic partners convicted of domestic violence from buying guns, directs funds for states to their own plans to address gun violence, and provides billions for school security and mental health services.
The Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell, called the bill a “commonsense package of popular steps that will help make these horrifying incidents less likely while fully upholding the second amendment”.
“Sometimes I feel like Americans want to protect the constitution more than they want to protect the Americans the constitution is supposed to protect,” Noah said. “I’ll tell you now, if the second amendment was in that classroom in Uvalde, the cops would have busted the door down with Mitch McConnell right behind them.
“I know for a lot of people, it can be hard to know how to feel about this deal,” he added, as it doesn’t include many popular and commonsense measures such as banning assault weapons, raising the age limit or even universal background checks. “So for some, this kinda thing feels like trying to stop Godzilla by dropping a few mouse traps around the city.
“But on the hand, after three decades of nothing happening, this deal is something. Please remember that. It is something. It’s not going solve everything, but it’s something, and something is always better than nothing. That’s the entire philosophy behind the handjob.”